Our Own Road Block

I am faced with serious challenges right now and have found myself thinking about things and came to this thought:

In our lives we find that many things demand our attention-many good and important things. We are, in general, a hard working and goal setting people. Some seasons of our lives are so hard and so full that we have to be very careful where we are willing to spend our time and energy.
During these times of stress and difficulty we can find ourselves sinking into depression from dealing with regular demands as well as life's changes. It's a real challenge to make the choices that help us overcome our despair.
One thing that is key in life is to do away with any pride we might have. It sounds a little odd, maybe, that this would be the key to warding off despair and depression. But hear me out on this one. We've heard the term "Pride comes before the fall" or something like that, right? Well, in our hearts and souls there is only so much room for emotions. We only have so much energy within ourselves to handle the things going on in our lives. And everyone is a tad bit different in what they can handle. When we allow pride in this sanctuary of limited resources, we find that our perceptions are limited. We find that we have unwanted and dampening roadblocks that take away from our abilities to discern what our positive and productive moves might be in our day and for our life. We find a murkiness like a muddied body of water in our head. Do we have time for that?
I thought about this over and over. I continue to learn so much from others by talking to them and observing their choices and applying things that seem best for my life and family. I noticed that those of us who allowed pride, even a little bit of it, into our hearts had a darkening in our eyes, a stiffening of our responses, and a more uncertain and questioning countenance in place of the faith that we otherwise had had before.
If we take the energy and time to make the choice to substitute gratitude for pride, viola! We have more energy! Can you believe that it can be that simple? The power of a grateful heart. Wow. I wish I had realized this sooner. Think about it. If our hearts and souls are filled with gratitude instead of pride, our minds are quickened in a real sense. We are able to discern and decide on a higher more productive level free of that cloudy, dismal sense of discouragement, full of life and light. Gratitude therefore is the answer.
If I receive accolades for some accomplishment in my busy life and let pride in, I actually will slow down my abilities. But if I accept the accolades with a grateful heart, things are in perspective, my mind is clear and can continue to function in the things that are most important. I won't have to stop and wonder as much about decisions. I won't have to stop and question and mull over problems as often. I won't let things get to me as much, which is a slowing thing.
If I work at having a grateful heart, problems will have their accurate place. The worst things will have their appropriate level of attention from me and I'll make it through the trials of my life with less scaring. Pain will seem to be more of a learning experience than a moment of victimization. No more poor me. There's only room for capable, learning me.
Changes. Life is FULL of changes. From a spiritual standpoint, in reading the scriptures and you can pick any one of them, there is constant evidence that life is full of change and challenge. The Savior isn't shoving anything down our throats in the solutions that His gospel offers. So there is no pride from Him in His example and explanation of happy living. He offers instead the perfect example of seeking light and understanding, in doing away with the roadblock of pride and taking on the characteristics that bring real joy in this otherwise very challenging existence. (See Moroni 7:45-47 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
I am so grateful for the thoughts that have come to my mind and heart this week on this topic. I really needed the insight. I love the simplicity of real pure solutions. That means that I can work on it, simple me. I hope this helps someone else, too.
Have a wonderful light filled day.
I am grateful for you!
I love you ( 'cause I know that anyone who reads this whole entry is a kind person with a big heart ;) )

Problem Solving

Two great quotes. My sister sent the first one and my Dad the second:

"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot further the brotherhood of men by encouraging class hatred.
You cannot help the poor by discouraging the rich.
You cannot establish sound security by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves."

Rev. William J. H. Boetcker, 1916

"For every complex problem there is a simple solution . . .

and it is wrong."

H. L. Mencken

Self Assured

Mark was teaching a lesson last Sunday and referred to Hebrews 11:1.

1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

As we were discussing faith and applying it, it occurred to me that having faith manifests itself in others when they are self assured (notice the word assurance in the scripture). I'm not talking about proud, cocky, or smug. I am talking about the people who have a pleasant demeanor about them even while dealing with difficult people, circumstances and trials.

I have felt this feeling at times and thought that it was pretty wonderful to have a calm strength like that.

So it seems even more obvious as to why Faith is the first principle of the gospel.

Simply put, I think that the Lord intends for us to get our sleep more often than not and not be panicky about life's challenges. If we go to him in faith and act in faith, we will find that things go better than we might have supposed. At least we will save ourselves from our own panic attacks, our own misgivings and our own lack of knowledge and control.

He intends for us to have self assurance-the product of faith.

Our Own Tormentors

Back in June I posted this blog: http://lifespringsfromdeeperthings.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html

I was relaying some thoughts that had occurred to me and found them to be far more reasonable than what the traditions have taught me.

I really do believe that like in this life, when we die, we will be our own hell, our own tormentors. We have that kind of power in this life already to work on our choices, correct them if needed, enjoy the good and keep on living.
The Atonement is such a key aspect of not living in hell. When we repent, really repent, not just say I'm sorry but really focus on our harmful actions and remedy them, we find new hope and new life. Having the atonement is an essential gift that lets us see moments of heaven where we are free from sin and torment. We find that strength in being clean as a whole or in that one area in our lives.
If we are not really done fixing, we will not have an overwhelming peace. We might have comfort but not the strength of purity and the sense of progression.

Here are some quotes that I read this week:
“God has decreed that all who will not obey His voice shall not escape the damnation of hell. What is the damnation of hell? To go with that society who have not obeyed His commands. … I know that all men will be damned if they do not come in the way which He hath opened, and this is the way marked out by the word of the Lord.”12
“The great misery of departed spirits in the world of spirits, where they go after death, is to know that they come short of the glory that others enjoy and that they might have enjoyed themselves, and they are their own accusers.”13
“There is no pain so awful as that of suspense. This is the punishment of the wicked; their doubt, anxiety and suspense cause weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.”14
“A man is his own tormentor and his own condemner. Hence the saying, They shall go into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone [see Revelation 21:8]. The torment of disappointment in the mind of man is as exquisite as a lake burning with fire and brimstone. I say, so is the torment of man. …
“… Some shall rise to the everlasting burnings of God, for God dwells in everlasting burnings, and some shall rise to the damnation of their own filthiness, which is as exquisite a torment as the lake of fire and brimstone.”15 (Joseph Smith)

This is the life to prepare to meet God, right? We need to act in faith being self assured (Heb 11:1) as we go that we are one with our Savior's wisdom and love for us and our love ones. We need to repent. We need to grow in the process. If we allow ourselves to live without real repentance and don't make important changes, we will be miserable now and forever. We need to forgive and love and be careful how we act. The Savior knew this and so he gave us all kinds of solid instruction on what consists of loving, pure behavior culminating in 1 Corinthians (http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_cor/13/1-13#4) with the definition of the characteristics of Charity.

The long and short of it is is that our joy is a choice that we make. We are our own worst enemy. We have the controls on our progression here in this existence and where we are able to go after we're done here. Do we want regrets? Or as others say, do we want our own hell? I don't know that many people do. I have a hope that we all want real happiness and should just keep pushing on working our best to be in "heaven". It seems very difficult at times but if it was impossible, it wouldn't be asked of us.

Happiness is living with no regrets.

In that last paragraph of quotes it says that God dwells in everlasting burnings. I hope that living in the everlasting burnings of purity and love and joy is all that I and my loved ones ever see.

Great Minds don't always think alike!

“Occasionally we hear something like, ‘Why, we have been married for fifty years, and we have never had a difference of opinion.’ If that is literally the case, then one of the partners is overly dominated by the other or, as someone said, is a stranger to the truth. Any intelligent couple will have differences of opinion. Our challenge is to be sure that we know how to resolve them. That is part of the process of making a good marriage better” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 86; or Ensign, May 1995, 65).

The Higher Road

Well, this could be partly funny. . . I have two callings/jobs at church. One is to teach in the women's group on Sunday and one is to team teach in Sunday School with Mark the Marriage Relations class. OK after you stop chuckling or laughing out loud for that matter. . . We've taught for 4 weeks already and have had fun. Luckily you don't have to be perfect to teach! Anyway, on Sunday we were talking about a covenant marriage verses a marriage that would easily be thrown to the side once you don't get what you want. We were discussing the characteristics a long-term marriage. During the discussion (which was wonderful) one of the sisters said that 2 years into her 21 year old marriage she and her husband hadn't fought really (she's a very kind, easy going woman so I really believe her). One day her husband was late for something and was really apologetic about the difficulty that it brought them. She was a little miffed. Then she realized that she had this sense of power over him because of his mistake. She said that she really didn't like that feeling of power over her husband. She at the time thought that it was inappropriate to have that kind of a feeling in her marriage. She felt that is was unfair to their relationship to hold something over his head and would hurt the marriage she loved and valued. I had the biggest lightbulb moment!!! Think about it. She could have held this moment over her husband's head for a minute, day or year and gotten this or that from doing it. She would be right, right? And then notice the strength of character she had at her young age to recognize how hurtful her own thoughts and actions could have been. Her potential actions could have become abusive. But she would be allowed in the eyes of many because her husband messed up. Instead, she took the higher more respectable road. Mark and I have been talking about this very thing in a family setting for several months and really over the years. We've tried to hash out how wrong this felt in the relationships in our lives. I now had the opportunity to apply it in my own heart. Anyway, take it however you want but this wonderful, wise pure-of-heart woman hit a major point. Major. I am sooooo grateful to have been there to hear it. Priceless.

I'm Missing You Today

Dear Lauren,

I came walking in from Michael's Freshman Orientation meeting tonight after checking out the boys' new school and working on all of the paperwork and figuring out the parking permits, etc. and had the impulse like I have time and time again to chat away about all of the logistics, routines, and people that come with a new year at school. I didn't have you to chat with. I miss you.

For all of the 13+ years of schooling that I've watched you go through and helped you with, you'd think I'd feel like I did on your graduation day-like screaming out a big huge scream as if you had won the NCAA championship or World Series. You are a shining star in my heart and I've never been more proud of you.

You faced challenge after challenge, uncomfortable confrontation after uncomfortable confrontation, time and time again. You had the oldest sibling role which included being your siblings' friend and advocate which put you in some very difficult roles. Year after year, we've worked through these things together. And you always have come out having learned something really valuable for you.

Lauren, I am going to miss our day in and day out moments. I already do. But today, I really, really wanted to see you and hug you and chat. I know we chatted on the phone with Kathryn, too, earlier. That was really nice. It's just the back to school routine, you know?

I can't go back in time. You are my bright, beautiful daughter who is now an amazing capable woman. Wow.

I love you dearly. You are a part of me.

I am so grateful.

Did I say that I love you?

I love you. :)

Forever your crazy, loving mother

Mom (or Mumsie, as Grandma Ellsworth would say)

On Monday, I found myself early in the morning thinking about my mother, my mother who has been gone for over 16 years now. I was 25 when she passed on. I was 3 weeks from having our 3rd baby (and a big, beautiful baby he was), and had just been able to enjoy, with my husband and children a move into our first home.

I was fortunate to have an "adult" relationship with Mom for a short time. Many of my siblings didn't get to have any years like that. Life is what it is. Who would have thought? Not me.

Monday was her birthday.

But that's all just background information now. My thoughts were only simple and so peaceful and sweet to me.

I reflected on how wonderful it was that my mother was born. She was a real light in this life.

I then naturally turned to the deep gratitude that I feel when I think that she brought me into this world. I am grateful it was her that I came to (as well as my wonderful father). I will be ever so grateful that she made that choice and sacrifice for me.

Forever thank you Mom

I love you dearly

24 This is eternal lives—to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law. (D&C 132:24) (www.lds.org "scriptures" link)

I noticed the words in this today as I prepared a lesson. Notice the word "lives" and in the next verse the word "deaths" is also in plural. Isn't it interesting that this was changed in the bible. I am not sure that it's of a huge significance but the plural seems deliberate.

I also noticed that the word wise is in this verse as compared to the bible. It seems to make the description of God our Father more well rounded instead of the harsh, judging God that He is portrayed as so often. I can look at this and think of him has my Father who will counsel with me and share His wisdom in my many moments of need.

The term "law" referred to by Jesus in this verse is really important. It shows that there are important guidelines and boundaries for us. More importantly as we read more in these verses, we see the importance of this "law" as being two way covenants that need to be followed and worked on. Isn't is such a beautiful, full, verse? Doesn't is show God our Father and his Son, Jesus' power yet real love and concern for us to understand what is most important?

I am so grateful that our Savior takes so much time and effort on our behalf to work with us at our different stages that we go through in this existence. I am sooooo grateful that He and our Father in Heaven are patient and wise and steady. They are the only ones who are consistently so. How wonderful to know this and use this knowledge to handle everything day to day.

To Be Real

"For a long time he lived in the toy cupboard or on the nursery floor, and no one thought very much about him. He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity of referring to his rigging in technical terms. The Rabbit could not claim to be a model of anything, for he didn't know that real rabbits existed; he thought they were all stuffed with sawdust like himself, and he understood that sawdust was quite out-of-date and should never be mentioned in modern circles. Even Timothy, the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers, and should have had broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.
The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
The Skin Horse Tells His Story
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; "(The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams)

In our Every Day Lives

Thoughts from my Brother Ben:
I hope that my brother doesn't mind that I'm sharing his thoughts from a week or so ago. I just couldn't help but take these things in and really gain some insight for myself on not just the act of making a covenant but actually living the covenants I make. Sometimes it's hard to put these things into words. But for me, it's not enough to know the facts about the Savior and his gospel, I feel that I should be incorporating the gospel into my daily living. Ben shared some of these ideas in great ways. . .

"Our relationship with others is directly related to the covenants we make with God.

What do I mean by this?
Aside from promising to love our neighbors as ourselves, lift one another’s burdens, worship together, and to share the Gospel, there are other aspects to being part of a covenant people that makes living the Gospel unique.
First is being a covenant person.
When we personally keep our covenants – we dedicate ourselves to this pursuit, repenting often and pushing forward – we change. We start asking interesting questions like, “How do I develop more charity for others?” “I really want to do XYZ, but what would the Lord have me do?” “Is there someone I know who needs help today?” “That kid really is noisy. Wait, I have my own noisy kids too. Perhaps what those parents really need is an understanding smile?”
This is because of the following phenomenon. When we keep our covenants, we gain the companionship of the Spirit, which in turn changes us into peculiar people:
Gal. 5: 22
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Eph. 5: 9
9 (For [also,] the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
As the spirit works in us, we find that covenant keeping is not a solitary act. It extends to others around us. For example, and I know I’ve told the story before. When I was 13 my mother was extremely ill with cancer. Our house was painted, sprinklers installed, a broken sewer line dug up and replaced by ordinary people who honored they’re covenants and sought to serve someone in need.
Second is being a covenant family.
I learned about the importance of covenants and how they work from my family. My father taught the covenant lessons for FHE, and we talked about each new covenant we would make when growing up in the Church – baptism, Priesthood, marriage. But it was in living those that the beauty of covenant keeping came through in my family.
I come from a family of 10 kids. Now by no means are we a perfect family. But we are very close and we understand our roles with each other. It is one of the many things I look forward to each day to check my email or a family member’s blog to see what is going on in Kentucky, Boston, New York City, Virginia, Maryland, Alaska, Utah, or here in CA. We offer support, friendship, laughs, and advice to each other daily. We understand that not all of us would approach a situation the same and we accept that. We understand that our advice is just that and may be left unheeded. But in the end, when it comes down to the nitty gritty of life, we are family – we’re there to fast and pray for each other when a child is born with a heart defect, praise each others’ kids’ creativity and successes, and generally be a safe haven from the wiles of the world. I hope to carry this on with my children because it has been invaluable to me in my life.
Third is we are a covenant people.
If I were to take the microcosm of my family and extend it out into this Church, I see the same support offered here (minus the emails.) We strive for happiness. We strive for humility, charity, and love. In short we try to emulate the people of Alma who were baptized at the waters of Mormon. We are…
Mosiah 18:8-10
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye [we] may be in, even until death, that ye [we] may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye [we] may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
In discussing this talk with my wife, we both came to realize how good this ward has been to us and to each other. We feel recharged after each Sunday and we know it comes from the dedication and preparation of each member to contribute to each other’s spiritual well being. As a ward and even as a Stake we do some of the most selfless acts to help lift one another. We take time to visit each other once a month. Some give up a day of work to chaperone youth at a youth conference. Others faithfully fulfill temple assignments to allow those who otherwise would not be able to take on the covenants of the Gospel to do so. When we are sick, the ward unites to support the afflicted with temporal and spiritual service. This list goes on and on."

Aren't these great ideas and examples? Well, I think so. What good is it to be book smart if we don't apply that great knowledge to our life's decisions? So what good is it to know the facts and even go through the motions of covenant making if we have no intention of implementing change in our own lives.

Let's see. The covenants we make talk about us being willing to be like the Savior. Is that so bad? Too boring? Right. They also talk about us being willing to serve others/be kind and helpful. That can't be too much, right? They talk about us being willing to share our thoughts about the Savior, Jesus Christ with other, if they want. I don't know. Hmmm. I can talk about tv shows, books, clothes, hair styles, etc. I guess talking about the creator of this world and the one being who is responsible for my existence day to day also can't be too much to ask.

Anyway, there are so many things that living the gospel covers. So I'll just have to plug away at it and keep my attitude in check. I'll be happier. I know I'm so much happier now than I ever would have been because I was willing to stick to my covenants.

Thanks, Ben, for the wonderful thoughts! And congrats on your new "little" baby boy!!!

I actually went to a Book Club!!! Well, we went out for dessert at the Cheesecake Factory afterwards and I'm moving away from these wonderful women so I really wanted to spend some time with them while I could. Looks like I was the benefactor.
We talked about two books that were about Emma Smith. One was, Emma Smith: An Elect Lady by Susan Easton Black and the other that was brought up was Judge Me, Dear Reader by Erwin Wirkus. We had a wonderful discussion on the two books and on Joseph and Emma Smith and their challenges and on what became of Emma after Joseph was killed in Carthage.
Emma, was a strong willed and upright woman and very well educated for the time. She remarried a rough man who was a womanizer and was abusive-the opposite of Joseph. She stayed in Nauvoo after all of the saints were driven out or left to travel west for religious freedoms.
There are a lot of recorded instances where she was very mean and angry and spiteful towards others. She made some very questionable life decisions. Anyway, I thought quite a bit out all of this but I still don't want to judge her too harshly. She faced a lot of very very hard circumstances that could have contributed to her bitterness.
No matter what her life's outcome, I thought long and hard about a quote that came from one of the books.
It reads:
"Brigham Young was absolutely correct in his statement, because Joseph would find her in the hell that she had created for herself, and I firmly believe that, because of his love for her, he would redeem her from that state. I have real sympathy for Emma and see her as a person who became burned-out mentally and therefore spiritually. I believe that she suffered a severe mental breakdown when she saw her dead husband. We must also remember that she had asked Joseph to come back to Nauvoo even though he had said that if he were to return and stand trial he would be killed or 'he was not a prophet of God'."

The thought that really hit me was " in the hell that she had created for herself". I think we all create our own "hells" in this life. We are mean to people, maybe we covet another person, or we put our own wants before the needs of others, or maybe we are even overly judgemental, or we feel the need to be better than everyone, or need attention on a regular basis so we back bite or act innocent while backing up some terrible power struggles, etc. etc. etc. Hell is all about having regrets and living in the sadness of those thoughts. Hell is not forgiving. Hell is not loving unconditionally. Hell is not being loved and not knowing why and wanting it so badly. Hell is not having faith.

Regrets, regrets, regrets.

It kind of backs up another interesting idea someone shared on a program talking about out of body experiences where certain people had died and come back and spoke about it. One guy said that after his spirit left his body he was bombarded by a constant barrage from people who he had hurt or disappointed. They would come at him with questions of why. That stuck in my head at the time as quite possibly more of what I would have thought hell to be like. No rest just sadness and regrets and anxiety.

So, my question is,
do we really want to live in hell?
Then why create it?

Forgive.
Love.
Have faith.
Live a life with ALL of these qualities.
Could it be this simple?
It looks like we get to chose . . .
heaven
or
hell.

The Baptist Preacher

A day or two ago I had a Baptist Preacher come to my door with a youth from his church. He started chatting with my 17 yr old son about going to heaven and about some Christian ideas. I came to the door and greeted this seemingly nice man from Arkansas. We had some very nice thoughts shared but being that I am in the middle of a huge move, I shared that I wasn't interested in coming to his church but that I appreciated our visit and wished him to have a nice day. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't care if I wanted to come to his church and then asked another question of me quizzing my knowledge of the Bible, specifically the New Testament. At this point I asked, "Are you really going to hold me up from what I am doing to banter with me about the Bible?" He said, "No" and kept it up.
I had to shut the door on him, sadly enough. And as I walked back to packing up our home and taking care of our family, I thought, for a preacher he sure did a couple Non-Christlike things by telling a lie about the fact that he didn't care if I wanted to come to his church (or he would have left on the higher note we had been on). And becoming aggressive in his questions on points that he knew we would differ on. And not being kind and respectful to me and my family during an obviously stressful time.
How many times do we contribute to the internal conflicts that those we go to church with have? How many times are we really just looking out for our own agenda and not applying actual Christ-like behaviors in our lives?
How many times are we more interested in a certain result than the others our actions might affect.
Are we more interested in getting a calling or assignment for the attention it would bring us over the great opportunity it might bring for us to serve others or achieve personal growth?
Now don't get me wrong. As responsible, intelligent people we are responsible for our own emotions and reactions to everything in our lives. I'm not giving an out to anyone.
But don't we have to take the time to consider our own actions and how that affects the world around us.
Consider this:

8 For they saw and beheld with great sorrow that the people of the church began to be lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and to set their hearts upon riches and upon the vain things of the world, that they began to be scornful, one towards another, and they began to persecute those that did not believe according to their own will and pleasure.
9 And thus, in this eighth year of the reign of the judges, there began to be great contentions among the people of the church; yea, there were envyings, and strife, and malice, and persecutions, and pride, even to exceed the pride of those who did not belong to the church of God.
10 And thus ended the eighth year of the reign of the judges; and the wickedness of the church was a great stumbling-block to those who did not belong to the church; and thus the church began to fail in its progress.
11 And it came to pass in the *commencement of the ninth year, Alma saw the wickedness of the church, and he saw also that the example of the church began to lead those who were unbelievers on from one piece of iniquity to another, thus bringing on the destruction of the people.
12 Yea, he saw great inequality among the people, some lifting themselves up with their pride, despising others, turning their backs upon the needy and the naked and those who were hungry, and those who were athirst, and those who were sick and afflicted. (Alma 4:8-10)

Look at verse 8! In the church people began to be hard on each other because some had less than them-not quite the right shoes, hat, dress, tie, calling, set of scriptures, hairdo, etc. You don't think that has an effect on the flow of the good things that can be done? Are you kidding? Do you think that you are building up those around you? Or are you assisting Satan in bringing misery into the lives of others? It's your test. You know your score. And yes, there is a score.
In our ward when one of my daughter's fellow classmates found out that her father was going to be in the Bishopric, it was said that she stated, "Good, now the Bishop with know how bad Lauren is." Abuse of power? yes. Painful for my daughter? yes. A stumbling block for Lauren? More of a refiner's fire. See, I've taught my kids that they have to learn from these kinds of things that happen all of their lives.

How does this look to others outside of the church or group? Well, they sure don't want to be a part of that kind of drama, now, do they? If they do, aren't you worried? I'd be.

BUT we can all fix the problemsand work towards better days fairly easily, if we chose. We can be more patient and tolarant not just on the surface but for real. We can be supportive and kind and listen. Do we REALLY need to be better than someone else at church? Why? What's the reward for that? If you need a medal work towards the Olympics or your local City League Tournament. There's real competition and politics. Enjoy.
The greatest reward we will ever get is the peace that comes with being sincere in our efforts to respect each other equally and in getting along in all circumstances.
Want to know how? There are a lot of great books to chose from. I'd start with the scriptures and go from there, personally. But because I'm a work in progress, I'll defer to other's with more wisdom and experience.

On this Father's Day

Many times in our lives we are blessed with great people. These people are not great because they have great powers, or have great wealth, or have numerous powerful contacts. These people are great because in their lives they contribute to our lives in positive, constructive ways. They are great because they become people we can trust and relate to. And maybe best of all, they are great because we can learn from them.

I have been blessed with a great Father.

My Father is a great listener.

My Father is a great learner.

My Father is a great teacher.

My Father is a great supporter.

My Father is a great friend.

My Father has assisted me in making changes in my life that have shaped my life into a more fulfilling process. He has not pushed or pulled. He has lightly suggested when asked. He has followed his heart in what he talks about and how he discusses things. He has never let me off the hook when I have been wrong yet he has never condemned me for my own foibles. He is ok with my pace of learning and applying knowledge.

I know that my Father will always want what is best for me not what he thinks I should be.

THAT is why I can trust him and why I say with all sincerity he really is my friend.

I love you with all of my heart, Dad.

If I have learned anything lately it is the value of a Father who in his own life continues to strive to be better than he was the day before. In that, he finds the strength & wisdom to love & counsel his countless children and grandchildren. Sherry2008

Reflecting

I have a lot to reflect on these days. We are moving from the city that we've lived in for almost 19 years and we have our first child graduating from high school and going to college shortly.

Where does the time go? I've hear this asked so many times. Now I ask. I actually know where it's gone. It's gone into keeping my family safe and secure. It's gone into educating my children emotionally, spritually, physically, and mentally. It's gone into celebrating the great moments and sorrowing over the terrible ones. It's gone into living and living to the fullest.

My cup runneth o'er. I can only say that I am so grateful for every moment of every day that I can experience life here on earth.

Images of Mother

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom ' s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

I got this like many of you, this Mother's Day Season. I can totally relate from both sides. Isn't it funny that we go through natural evolutions? Well, I love and miss my Mom. I know at this point that she's pretty knowledgeable and I'd do almost anything for some great sit-down time with her in person. Luckily I have sisters that remind me at all times of Mom in mannerisms, voices, and characteristics. And just the other day, someone said that my daughter had so many of my mannerisms. I could have cringed but I smiled, even giggled inside, because that means she, too, can remind me of my Mother.

I can do that!

Pleasure and Pain – The Plan of Salvation

Bishop Richard C. Edgley

"An understanding of Christ's plan of redemption helps put [personal suffering] into perspective. In our preexistent state our Father in Heaven presented His plan for mortality, which Alma described as the 'plan of happiness' (Alma 42:8). I believe we all understood that by coming to earth, we would be exposed to all of the experiences of earth life, including the not-so-pleasant trials of pain, suffering, hopelessness, sin, and death. There would be opposition and adversity. And if that was all we knew about the plan, I doubt if any of us would have embraced it, rejoicing, 'That's what I have always wanted--pain, suffering, hopelessness, sin, and death.' But it all came into focus, and it became acceptable, even desirable, when an Elder Brother stepped forward and offered that He would go down and make it all right. Out of pain and suffering He would bring peace. Out of hopelessness He would bring hope. Out of transgression He would bring repentance and forgiveness. Out of death He would bring the resurrection of lives. And with that explanation and most generous offer, each and every one of us concluded, 'I can do that. That is a risk worth taking.' And so we chose." (Richard C. Edgley, "For Thy Good," Ensign, May 2002, p. 65)

My Dad sent this out. I love the real language. I'm so grateful for our loving Savior.

3900 Saturdays

3900 Saturdays
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles.' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say
'Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. ;'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'
'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'
'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.'
'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'
'It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!' You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?' she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.

I read this today and loved the thought from the story.

Hinckley Challenge

Well, I decided to dive into this challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 97 days. The idea being that President Gordon B. Hinckley lived 97 years and to honor him, we could join in and read the Book of Mormon in 97 days. I have pushed myself to do it by reading and when traveling or working to listening to the Book of Mormon. Going fast through the whole book is not my style. I like to soak things in and look at it. Plus, I'm not the best reader anyway, so I read slowly to start with.

Well, I have found that some things have jumped out at me while I was reading this time because I was going quickly.

1) Did you ever really listen to the very beginning of the "Lord's Prayer" as the Savior teaches how the order and attitude of prayer should be? Check this out: "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." (3 Nephi 13:9-10)http://scriptures.lds.org/en/3_ne/13
God our Father's will is done in heaven. He is in charge. The Lord, His Son, is acknowledging this in such a simple way. Jesus is also, in one simple phrase, asking for the purest order of things to happen on earth as it does in heaven. If God's will were to be done on earth at all times, what would this life and existence be like? Can you imagine?! And if the Savior is asking that this wonderful way of life exist on earth, and this is the example of prayer for us, how can we chose to live to make it happen?

2) Alma 48:17 "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men."
So if Moroni is described like this, what were the key characteristics that we read about him in Alma? He doesn't like to fight in war but he sure will if it means that he will be defending the rights and freedoms of his people to live and worship as they desire. He would ask the prophet about their enemies' actions in the field of battle, knowing in faith, that the prophet was a seer and could help as long as their cause was a righteous one. He would honor the oaths even of his enemies. He served the people. He knew the scriptures and the gospel and taught many of this to the people as he lead them and encouraged them.
Now, as I have over time read and reread the stories of Moroni, I have felt the power of his righteousness. Notice that there is a purity in that power. He was only 25 when he started to lead so he must have been wise early on. Now I also don't think that he's the only and best leader and that his ways are out of touch for us to reach. On the contrary, I believe that we have his example to show that it is important to actually follow the Savior and live his gospel. And if it means that we have to fight to defend our country and our freedoms, then that is a righteous thing.
The next two verses help us to see that others are seen to be equal in righteousness and the power of it : "Behold, he was a man like unto Ammon, the son of Mosiah, yea and even the other sons of Mosiah, yea, and also Alma and his sons, for they were all men of God.
Now behold, Helaman and his brethren were no less serviceable unto the people than was Moroni; for they did preach the word of God, and they did baptize unto repentance all men whosoever would hearken unto their words." (Alma 48:18-19)http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/48
3) "And thus they went forth, and the people did humble themselves because of their words, insomuch that they were highly favored of the Lord, and thus they were free from wars and contentions among themselves, yea, even for the space of four years." (Alma 48:20)
Notice the next thing that is mentioned here and is all throughout the Book of Mormon that I think we miss on many occasions. It's right after the descriptions of Moroni and the other very righteous leaders, all of whom have different talents that are used at the same time for the blessing of the people.
Helaman and his brethren teach the gospel and help others come to the point that they are willing to make covenants with the Lord and thus there is peace. There is peace because there is righteousness. Again, there is peace BECAUSE there is righteousness. If you ever need a good reason in your life to share the gospel of Jesus Christ, this should be a great catalyst. Don't we all want peace? Don't we all want safe neighborhoods? Well, there we have it. This has been so prominent in my mind this time around in my reading.

There are other things that have really jumped out at me but these are some of the more recent thoughts. Interesting how they all seem to address my own personal desire for peace and joy in this life. I don't just want to wait for it later. It would be nice to enjoy it here, now with my loved ones, friends, and neighbors.

It looks like it can be done.

I'd better work on me and see how things go.

Alone

About ten years ago I found myself "serving" in a church position which lasted for almost 3 years. It entailed leading a group of women in order to take care of their families, their spiritual development, their temporal needs and social needs. We had activities to oversee, talks to give, lessons to teach, hungry families to feed, dysfunctional homes to try to heal, etc. I found this to be a very challenging time in my personal life because there was so much that needed to be confidential in what I did or why I made the decisions to do the things that I would do for those in need. I felt very alone. I could only share with my husband the surface stuff. I couldn't really talk to family because they wouldn't know the culture and/or circumstances that I was dealing with. I could ultimately turn to the Lord and find sure answers in prayer, scripture reading and fasting. I know that I was criticized and mocked at times. I know that my family was treated differently and sometimes maliciously by the few who were arrogant and jealous. And we had a relatively young family.We had only been married for 10 years and had 4 very young children.

One day while I was trying for a quiet moment to think about by family and my calling and the things of that day and week, I opened a new book by a favorite author of mine, Robert L. Millet, and read about Joseph Smith. These are the words I read and found great comfort in:

"Like his Master, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith was called upon to endure a life of loneliness. It was a life characterized not only by persecution and suspicion but also by an isolation known only to those who walk in the glorious light of noonday sun, who know with an absolute certainty and yet must minister among others who seem content to walk and talk in the fading rays of dusk, those who struggle with faith, those who doubt, and even those who dare not believe. The farm boy who grew to become a prophet's prophet was also, to some degree at least, "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief" (Mosiah 14:3), one who knew firsthand the costs of Christian discipleship. "God is my friend," he wrote to his wife, Emma, at a difficult time. "In him I shall find comfort. I have given my life into his hands. I am prepared to go at his call. I desire to be with Christ. I count not my life dear to me, only to do his will." (The Personal Writings of Joseph Smith, p. 239; punctuation modernized.) Such expressions enable us to discern the soul of Joseph Smith, to discover the underlying secret of his success, his humility. But he was the prophet of the Almighty; God knew it, and he knew it."

There wasn't an answer in this to my specific questions. But the comfort I received seeing that a great man who faced severe challenges just as the prophets of old who is well known and often held very high in our church also faced the feeling of aloneness and seclusion that I was facing albeit on a smaller scale.

Who else in their life has had life experiences and more than likely, like myself, more than one where they have their own personal knowledge of the truth or validity of their decisions and no one but God can really know it, too?

". . . God knew it, and he knew it."

Who would have thought that the rebuilding of a trailer for a destitute dysfunctional family would only serve to help them to sell it and make a better life in another place? Who would have thought that a young mother would be given the chance to start over and after great sacrifices by others, would chose to go back to drugs? Who would think that working for a year in a boutique in the heart of Las Vegas, that a young mother would influence a beautiful young woman to leave a life of degradation to go to a full productive joy filled life?

Who do we judge in their day to day and bigger life decisions? Who do we in an arrogant, self-serving moments decide to "counsel"? As my mother often said, "Who do you think you are?" Who do we think we are when we harshly challenge difficult choices of another? We are the grave cause of another's aloneness and pain if we find ourselves doing these things. We add to the trial of another's faith. We add to the darkness.

Sadly, I know both sides. But now I see some things that, for me, are strengthening.

I hope that in the spirit of wisdom that I continue to remember that my life is my life and I am responsible for it. I am responsible for having the kind of relationship with my Savior that entails the blessing of an all-knowing friend as my guide. And in this working for a personal relationship, I hope that I will find that although I might not be understood, supported, or appreciated that I will always remember that I have a Savior who loves me and works with me so that my life is what it is meant to be.

Yes, I still have very alone times when I know that the only one that understands is Jesus Christ. I think instead of feeling sorry for myself, I will bask in His love. He surely understands.

Side note: It is a rare time that I feel so alone.

I have a loving husband and children to share this life with.

I have wonderful parents and siblings and their spouses and children

in great numbers

whom I love spending time with and can turn too, also.

I am very blessed.

My Cup Runneth Over

Small Things

"But behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." (Almas 37:6)

A Complete Change

Is the Atonement for you? For me? for everyone?

In the Books of Mosiah and Alma there are some very poinient examples of changed lives.
The one that jumped out at me what the story of the sons of Mosiah (Nephites).
They were really dishing out the dirt against the church members in their area. They were trying to break down the church (strangely, they couldn't just leave people alone in their choice of worship). Their friend was the Son of the Chief High Priest, Alma. His name was also Alma-after his father. Things were so bad that an angel appeared to the group of them which caused them to rethink their lives. They made a complete turn around and made every effort to repair any damages that they did. But it didn't stop there. The sons of Mosiah wanted to go tell their mortal enemies about the Savior and His ways and try to bring more peace to them. Here's part of this story:
"14 And assuredly it was great, for they had undertaken to preach the word of God to a wild and a hardened and a ferocious people; a people who delighted in murdering the Nephites, and robbing and plundering them; and their hearts were set upon riches, or upon gold and silver, and precious stones; yet they sought to obtain these things by murdering and plundering, that they might not labor for them with their own hands.
15 Thus they were a very indolent people, many of whom did worship idols, and the curse of God had fallen upon them because of the traditions of their fathers; notwithstanding the promises of the Lord were extended unto them on the conditions of repentance.
16 Therefore, this was the cause for which the sons of Mosiah had undertaken the work, that perhaps they might bring them unto repentance; that perhaps they might bring them to know of the plan of redemption." (Alma 17:14-16)

This is a stunning turn about of attitudes.

These men were raised in the gospel of Jesus Christ and had willfully rebelled against it. But being humbled so much by the fact that they were given this second chance, they were willing to put their lives out there in order to help others.
When I thought about the shape that they were in to do this, I wondered if besides the faith that they obviously had, if they didn't need to be even stronger to handle this daunting task.
So here's what I read:
"1 And now it came to pass that as Alma was journeying from the land of Gideon southward, away to the land of Manti, behold, to his astonishment, he met with the sons of Mosiah journeying towards the land of Zarahemla.
2 Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.
3 But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God." (Alma 17:1-3)

What jumped out at me? Well, I thought to myself, "Here's the key to a complete change of heart. Here's exactly how I've overcome severe trials in my own life. Here's how these good men became great and still stayed humble therefore even more powerful and good.

What does the key to making the atonement work for every single person? Reading the scriptures, praying and fasting.
These three actions bring about the greatest changes for good. It might seem way too easy. It's a simple concept but easy? I don't think that it's always easy. I know that I have applied these three actions. I have done it over and over and over (see even the toughest students can learn!). I will have to keep it up, too. Because like everyone I know, we're all in this life trying our best to be our best and to help others be the same. And there are a lot of challenges to face.
The atonement is for everyone-everyone who wants the peace and kindness of the Savior to be the guiding power and influence in their lives.

Three steps to being our very best:
Search the Scriptures+Pray to Heavenly Father+Fast=miracles of all sizes and shapes

I promise it works.

Just Another Day

Well, it's just before bed and I should be closer to getting in bed but I thought I'd jot down a couple thoughts (or just one-I'm tired).

What can the scriptures do?
I started reading my scriptures every day again. I don't read a ton and I don't have a consistant amount that I read. It could be 5 verses or 3 chapters. But what I noticed, again, is how quickly I refocused my energy. I calmed down. I found myself feeling lighter, if that makes any sense. I was also quicker to re-evaluate my priorities.
Evaluating my priorities.
By saying that, I mean where I am putting my emotions and my energy. I have a pretty obvious set of priorities which don't change but what I chose to worry or ponder about while doing laundry, driving carpool, feeding our family, working in the yard, etc., isn't as obvious. It's very internal and personal.
There seem to be a myriad of important things to worry about. I could keep myself up at night worrying about my teenagers, and sometime do. I could stop eating because I put my energy into worrying about the renters and their problems with paying rent. I could make myself sick with worry about work, kids' friends, kids' schools, etc. etc. etc. But almost immediately when reading the inspired words in the scriptures, there is a comfort that begins to shield me from the edginess of all of these valid worries.
What is that powerful effect? Why is it a constant? Why do words matter so much?
All I know is that the words written in the scriptures are obviously more that just random thoughts. They are instructive and supportive. They lift and cheer the soul.
I am so grateful that we have the written words of our Savior and His prophets. What a blessing, indeed, to have preserved records that are life building.

Living After the Manner of Happiness

For Sunday I had read and thought about a lesson that I was to give at church.
I read these things:

Nephi’s Thoughts
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. (2 Nephi 4:27-30)
vs
Laman and Lemuel’s Thoughts
2 But behold, their anger did increase against me, insomuch that they did seek to take away my life.
3 Yea, they did murmur against me, saying: Our younger brother thinks to rule over us; and we have had much trial because of him; wherefore, now let us slay him, that we may not be afflicted more because of his words. For behold, we will not have him to be our ruler; for it belongs unto us, who are the elder brethren, to rule over this people.
4 Now I do not write upon these plates all the words which they murmured against me. But it sufficeth me to say, that they did seek to take away my life. (2 Nephi 5:2-4)

As I read the two comparisons of these brothers' anger management skills, I thought long and hard about the importance of making every effort to not be angry with my enemies. I could feel in my heart that this was a very important topic. When I brought this idea up for discussion in our class, there were fantastic comments and great feedback on the importance of not being angry with one's enemies. Here are a few of the thoughts that were discussed:
First, why is it a practical thing to not be angry with one's enemy?
If we are not angry with our enemy, then we deflate the opportunity for escalating emotions in many cases. Instead of a "tennis match" of angry actions, blame and accusations, you can end up with peace in your heart while the other does whatever they are going to do with their anger.
We remain healthy psycologically and spiritually.
Second, how can we realistically accomplish this?
We can concentrate on building bridges or at least not burning too many with angry indignation.
We can be cordial in all cases.
We can step back in a heated moment, take a break and come back ready to calmly consider the situation.
Don't let one's pride step in when one's character is being challenged or beat up.
Remember, too, that the atonement is for everyone. So that person or people you might consider enemies now, might forgive/repent and make amends so that you can at least be cordial if not completely get along fantastically in the end.

President Howard W. Hunter taught: “We need a more peaceful world, growing out of more peaceful families and neighborhoods and communities. To secure and cultivate such peace, ‘we must love others, even our enemies as well as our friends.’ … We need to extend the hand of friendship. We need to be kinder, more gentle, more forgiving, and slower to anger. We need to love one another with the pure love of Christ. May this be our course and our desire” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 87; or Ensign, May 1992, 63).

As we discussed things further, we talked about the fact that the Lord told Nephi that his brothers were going to kill him. Laman and Lemuel hated Nephi and their excuse for killing him was that they thought that he wanted to be king over them and they were the oldest and should be the rulers (a topic of the 10th commandment -coveting-came up at this point). Nephi took whoever wanted to go with him and went away from his brothers and the people who were with them and began to thrive. Here is what is recorded of what Nephi and his group did in their area:

10 And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things, according to the law of Moses.
11 And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly; for we did sow seed, and we did reap again in abundance. And we began to raise flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind.
12 And I, Nephi, had also brought the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass; and also the ball, or compass, which was prepared for my father by the hand of the Lord, according to that which is written.
13 And it came to pass that we began to prosper exceedingly, and to multiply in the land.
14 And I, Nephi, did take the sword of Laban, and after the manner of it did make many swords, lest by any means the people who were now called Lamanites should come upon us and destroy us; for I knew their hatred towards me and my children and those who were called my people.
15 And I did teach my people to build buildings, and to work in all manner of wood, and of iron, and of copper, and of brass, and of steel, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious ores, which were in great abundance.
16 And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land, wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon’s temple. But the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine. 17 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cause my people to be industrious, and to labor with their hands. (2 Nephi 5:10-16)

Living after the Manner of Happiness
One concern that would naturally be brought up is the question, "Do I look weak if I am not angry with my enemies?"
Some answers were:
People who are industrious and prosperous are strong.
If one is happy and hangs on to their self esteem they feel strong.
The person who has let go of the weakening emotion of anger feels strong.
If our energies are turned from blame and revenge, are we more productive and strong?
If God has promised to fight our battles if we turn to Him, are we weak? We can't be.

Instead of being defensive or angry that they had to leave in order to survive, Nephi and his group moved on. It appears that they were happy because they lived the Commandments of God, they had scripture and geneological records, they were hardworking and industrious, they were prepared for danger, and they built a Temple-a place of peace and worship for them. What a distinctive difference from the brothers' attitudes.
The brothers of Nephi, Laman and Lemuel, couldn't leave well enough alone. They claimed to have been worried about Nephi being their ruler and telling them what to do. Yet not long after the split of people, Laman and Lemuel's group came over to battle Nephi's group! So it appears that the anger was just a festering thing for them and as we read further, it doesn't subside much. It actually leads to many wars.

So which way looks like the most productive, happy way to live?

It seems very clear that we have a very good example of how letting go of anger towards our enemies is an essential way to happiness. Many times this takes a great deal of faith in God and his promise to work with us and to help us to accomplish this action. But the example for "living after the manner of happiness" is clear. We need to trust in God and move forward working, loving, serving, and worshipping in order to have the peace in this life that makes it all worthwhile.

http://scriptures.lds.org/2_ne/5/10-17#10