I'm Missing You Today

Dear Lauren,

I came walking in from Michael's Freshman Orientation meeting tonight after checking out the boys' new school and working on all of the paperwork and figuring out the parking permits, etc. and had the impulse like I have time and time again to chat away about all of the logistics, routines, and people that come with a new year at school. I didn't have you to chat with. I miss you.

For all of the 13+ years of schooling that I've watched you go through and helped you with, you'd think I'd feel like I did on your graduation day-like screaming out a big huge scream as if you had won the NCAA championship or World Series. You are a shining star in my heart and I've never been more proud of you.

You faced challenge after challenge, uncomfortable confrontation after uncomfortable confrontation, time and time again. You had the oldest sibling role which included being your siblings' friend and advocate which put you in some very difficult roles. Year after year, we've worked through these things together. And you always have come out having learned something really valuable for you.

Lauren, I am going to miss our day in and day out moments. I already do. But today, I really, really wanted to see you and hug you and chat. I know we chatted on the phone with Kathryn, too, earlier. That was really nice. It's just the back to school routine, you know?

I can't go back in time. You are my bright, beautiful daughter who is now an amazing capable woman. Wow.

I love you dearly. You are a part of me.

I am so grateful.

Did I say that I love you?

I love you. :)

Forever your crazy, loving mother

Mom (or Mumsie, as Grandma Ellsworth would say)