The Higher Road

Well, this could be partly funny. . . I have two callings/jobs at church. One is to teach in the women's group on Sunday and one is to team teach in Sunday School with Mark the Marriage Relations class. OK after you stop chuckling or laughing out loud for that matter. . . We've taught for 4 weeks already and have had fun. Luckily you don't have to be perfect to teach! Anyway, on Sunday we were talking about a covenant marriage verses a marriage that would easily be thrown to the side once you don't get what you want. We were discussing the characteristics a long-term marriage. During the discussion (which was wonderful) one of the sisters said that 2 years into her 21 year old marriage she and her husband hadn't fought really (she's a very kind, easy going woman so I really believe her). One day her husband was late for something and was really apologetic about the difficulty that it brought them. She was a little miffed. Then she realized that she had this sense of power over him because of his mistake. She said that she really didn't like that feeling of power over her husband. She at the time thought that it was inappropriate to have that kind of a feeling in her marriage. She felt that is was unfair to their relationship to hold something over his head and would hurt the marriage she loved and valued. I had the biggest lightbulb moment!!! Think about it. She could have held this moment over her husband's head for a minute, day or year and gotten this or that from doing it. She would be right, right? And then notice the strength of character she had at her young age to recognize how hurtful her own thoughts and actions could have been. Her potential actions could have become abusive. But she would be allowed in the eyes of many because her husband messed up. Instead, she took the higher more respectable road. Mark and I have been talking about this very thing in a family setting for several months and really over the years. We've tried to hash out how wrong this felt in the relationships in our lives. I now had the opportunity to apply it in my own heart. Anyway, take it however you want but this wonderful, wise pure-of-heart woman hit a major point. Major. I am sooooo grateful to have been there to hear it. Priceless.

I'm Missing You Today

Dear Lauren,

I came walking in from Michael's Freshman Orientation meeting tonight after checking out the boys' new school and working on all of the paperwork and figuring out the parking permits, etc. and had the impulse like I have time and time again to chat away about all of the logistics, routines, and people that come with a new year at school. I didn't have you to chat with. I miss you.

For all of the 13+ years of schooling that I've watched you go through and helped you with, you'd think I'd feel like I did on your graduation day-like screaming out a big huge scream as if you had won the NCAA championship or World Series. You are a shining star in my heart and I've never been more proud of you.

You faced challenge after challenge, uncomfortable confrontation after uncomfortable confrontation, time and time again. You had the oldest sibling role which included being your siblings' friend and advocate which put you in some very difficult roles. Year after year, we've worked through these things together. And you always have come out having learned something really valuable for you.

Lauren, I am going to miss our day in and day out moments. I already do. But today, I really, really wanted to see you and hug you and chat. I know we chatted on the phone with Kathryn, too, earlier. That was really nice. It's just the back to school routine, you know?

I can't go back in time. You are my bright, beautiful daughter who is now an amazing capable woman. Wow.

I love you dearly. You are a part of me.

I am so grateful.

Did I say that I love you?

I love you. :)

Forever your crazy, loving mother

Mom (or Mumsie, as Grandma Ellsworth would say)

On Monday, I found myself early in the morning thinking about my mother, my mother who has been gone for over 16 years now. I was 25 when she passed on. I was 3 weeks from having our 3rd baby (and a big, beautiful baby he was), and had just been able to enjoy, with my husband and children a move into our first home.

I was fortunate to have an "adult" relationship with Mom for a short time. Many of my siblings didn't get to have any years like that. Life is what it is. Who would have thought? Not me.

Monday was her birthday.

But that's all just background information now. My thoughts were only simple and so peaceful and sweet to me.

I reflected on how wonderful it was that my mother was born. She was a real light in this life.

I then naturally turned to the deep gratitude that I feel when I think that she brought me into this world. I am grateful it was her that I came to (as well as my wonderful father). I will be ever so grateful that she made that choice and sacrifice for me.

Forever thank you Mom

I love you dearly

24 This is eternal lives—to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law. (D&C 132:24) (www.lds.org "scriptures" link)

I noticed the words in this today as I prepared a lesson. Notice the word "lives" and in the next verse the word "deaths" is also in plural. Isn't it interesting that this was changed in the bible. I am not sure that it's of a huge significance but the plural seems deliberate.

I also noticed that the word wise is in this verse as compared to the bible. It seems to make the description of God our Father more well rounded instead of the harsh, judging God that He is portrayed as so often. I can look at this and think of him has my Father who will counsel with me and share His wisdom in my many moments of need.

The term "law" referred to by Jesus in this verse is really important. It shows that there are important guidelines and boundaries for us. More importantly as we read more in these verses, we see the importance of this "law" as being two way covenants that need to be followed and worked on. Isn't is such a beautiful, full, verse? Doesn't is show God our Father and his Son, Jesus' power yet real love and concern for us to understand what is most important?

I am so grateful that our Savior takes so much time and effort on our behalf to work with us at our different stages that we go through in this existence. I am sooooo grateful that He and our Father in Heaven are patient and wise and steady. They are the only ones who are consistently so. How wonderful to know this and use this knowledge to handle everything day to day.