Provoke Not Your Children

Ephesians 6:1-4
"Children Obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother;
(which is the first commandment with promise;)
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth,
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

I have read this passage several times and came across it accidentally about 3 years ago. It starts off familiar but notice the last 2 lines. Those are verse 4. It took me back a little and then I thought that this was a very wise finish to a very important commandment.

First let's be clear. To honour you parents means to be respectful and work hard to make a good name for them and for and through your posterity. For those who have toxic, selfish, addictive, abusive, etc. parents, you have your hands full. You still have to honour your parents but you don't have to live by them, spend time with them at your own peril, expose your family to their behavior, etc. These decisions should be made prayerfully and on behalf of you and your own family.
To honour our parents even if they've passed on or aren't near us for one reason or another really means to raise our children well and carry the family name, so-to-speak, well-doing as well or, in the worst circumstances, much better. We need to do this without vindictiveness or thoughts of obsessive revenge and such. We do this with love and with the spirit of peace. This can be so hard but it's possible.
Back to that last part. Isn't it interesting that the burden isn't all on the children. It's not really fair is it to put the honoring just on children?
Here's what's seems to be really happening here.
A chain of anger, vengence, revenge, hate is stopped when the parent behaves-to not provoking his/her children to anger. We are the examples and we are responsible for passing or not passing along bad habits. So if I have a temper about certain things, it's important for me to work on keeping that to myself as my own challenge and not enjoy watching my children get worked up about similar things. This doesn't mean that we don't share news or facts. But there is a responsibility to learn to discuss things without making a mock of others or ridiculing to raise everyone's blood pressure or cause cocky laughter about others.
I really think that my Dad is a great example of this. He usually doesn't really react to much. Smart man. He has a lot of children. We all have tempers to one degree or another. What upsets him is almost a complete mystery to me. I mean I know what sports teams he likes to watch and I know what things bring him joy or bring some sadness to him but what riles him up, not so sure. That leaves me all to myself to look at my own weaknesses and own them as my own to work on.
Look at the world around us. In cultures there are heated and dangerous beliefs that reinforce beatings and killings from father to son to daughter to grandchildren. This purpetual riling up just never allows for calm or peace.
So, yes, we children have a huge responsibility to honor our parents both living and dead with our actions and lives. And as Parents, we also have the responsibility to promote peace and the nurturing of our children in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
(Characteristics that will help us all in Moroni 7:45-47)